Saturday, March 6, 2010

Am I for real?

Oh No!

Since moving to Salalah this past August I have been very out of the ordinary.  I find every opportunity to spend, sometimes just browsing for a very long time, even now that I have 2 children to drag around I still do it!

My life is so empty.  There is nothing that I can find to really hold me together.  Achilles, my eldest, is driving me insane!  Like right now, I'm trying to write this entry and I just can't stand it that he's all over me. 

Is there something really wrong with me?  Am I suffering from post partum depression or something?  Someone help! I can't do this any longer.  I feel like I'm going to pop any minute now!


Maybe 20 times everyday.  He's either jumping on the computer, busting phones, or whatever else he can find to annoy me.

I really dont enjoy living here...its too depressing.

Any thoughts anyone?  I really need your expertise...all the other moms out!


  1. "let kids be little because theyre only that way for a while Let them cry let them giggle let them sleep in the middle just let them be little"

    Hey nisha its jessica, thats their job, to enjoy life to the fullest, you should do the same too, dont stay on the pc all day long, spend time with him, every time you get a chance you have two now SO i'M sure he will do whatever he can for your attention. Your kids are more important thAN being on the laptop all day long.

    Try to give him the attention he needs and when you are busy with the baby give him something nice to play with....When he gets older he is going to get naughtier....but you are going to wish he was still a baby again so enjoy it while he is small...

    And think of all those moms losing their babies everyday, to death, disease and war...many of them wish they had someone to climb all over them and scream and poop all over the house, so thank the Almighty God for blessing you with this gift, thats what motherhood is all about, taking care of a gift that God has blessed you with...

    Your sis

  2. Hey hun,

    I am not a mom yet but I am hoping to give you some advice. Children are a lot of work, no kidding. But is sound to be like Achilles is not tryign to annoy you but is looking for your attention. He is not doing it spitefully, but he is going through a phase himself. He just had a sister and has to compete to get mommy's attnetion. I would give him many activities to do to keep him busy and games....and kids love creative games... In some of his activities I would have him do small projects for the baby so he feels like he is mommy's little helper.
    Do they have scheduled naps? If they do, then that would be a great time to nap yourself or do some household chores before they awake.
    If you have a park nearby and your neighborhood is safe, i would take them out to the park when they were awake and just have Achilles run in the park until he was burnt out(supervised of course!) while I sat with baby and play with small toys.
    Knowing me, i would have planned daily activities which I know I can easily accomplish with the kids. So at the end of the day I gratified.
    As far as being in a new place, it's difficult at first to get used to, but after a while, like everything else, you get used to it. Find the things you like and enjoy them. (For me i liked the mall, restaurants, parks, family members homes, fun and fun areas of interest).
    Nish, you are soooo blessed. You have a husband and two very wonderful children. You are doing a great job with your children and I must commend you... They look so happy and healthy and fun.
    It is also helpful to have a spiritual advisor or friend who you can call or count on anytime. Someone who will encourage you and love you and support your family. This is helpful when in stressful times.

    Also, if you have other moms in your area with kids your age, I would schedule play dates. Moms and babies can get together, probable meet at the park and just hang out together while they watch there kids run around and play.

    Final words darling dearest, Keep keeping on...Be blessed and Be encouraged...I will keep you in prayer...


  3. Hey Nish,

    I'm not a mom yet either but I'd still like to give it a shot. Chrissy seems to have a great plan and I think you should adopt it and make it more of your own.

    With a new baby in the home, Archilles will always try to get some more attention, it happens more often than you can imagine. In order to get him to relax a bit, you need to let him remember he isn't replaced. let him help and feel like the big brother he is.

    Finding some stimulating games should be a good help as well, it will keep him occupied and teach him new things as well. If the baby is napping and he is awake, play with him, give him a little quality time, but don't limit it to when the baby is asleep only. Try to find safe ways to get them to play together so he doesn't feel like she's competing with him.

    Taking him to the park or on a beach and letting him run around supervised is also a great way to let him release the energy and have fun. It will also get him tired enough to sleep throughout the night.

    Just continue keeping strong babe, you have two beautiful children, and they will be a bit difficult at times, but you can't let the situation get the best of you. take control, don't allow being in a new place to defeat you. Make an adventure by discovering your surroundings with your family.


  4. Hi cuz,

    I am going to be blunt,

    Archilles is definately looking for attention.... he is still a baby and at the sametime he never really got to spend alone time with you because you got pregnant quickly...your anxiety comes from the fact that you proberbly don't have the support you need as the saying goes it take a village to raise a child..It's true, as a mom your proberbly trying to grab on to any time you can get for yourself. It's not a bad thing, it's good your noticing something needs to change...The hardest thing is balnacing two kids and keeping yourself happy...But like something I'm now realizing is that you need to take care of yourself first, if your not stable your kids feed on that and in return they might end up miserable...take time for archilles especially when the baby is asleep...try to go online when they are sleepin at nights...or multitask

    Basically, you need to re-evaluate your life and see what is it you want and what your missing, don't take the frustration out on Archilles

    Definately try not to have no more kids, until your able to handle those you have...and SNAP OUT OF IT. We all make choices and its up to us to live with it or fix it. Your a loving person and a good mom, always remember that...just reflect on you and you'll learn how to balance your life better.

    love ya

  5. Thanks everyone for all the comments. I 'll really have to get to work on implimenting them

  6. Hi Nisha, it's good that you are open and honest enough to reach out...some people just keep it all inside and end up abusing their children cos the stress is too much. I echo all of what has been said above - great advice...just take what you can. As you know I am in the same boat as you with two little ones and mine are even younger than yours so I know for real that it ain't easy but try to find the joy as there really is so much. I realise my 19 month old tantrums were triggered more when I was stressed out so nurture yourself. I sing a LOT...lots of different songs to keep the mood up and positive energy high. You really have to be so creative in thinking 3 steps ahead of them and attending to their needs on time...mothering is the hardest and least acknowledged job in the world and it's a constant learning process.

    I create affirmations and post them around the house - on my front door I have "Today I choose to experience Love, Peace and Joy" simple but it helps me refocus when I read it and remember that's what life is all about. I also repeat to myself that the 'Divine acknowledges my work and gives me all that I need' to keep in mind that the ultimate aim is to serve my Creator in the work of raising my babies.

    I also listen a lot to the 'leading edge parenting' show on i-tunes in the evenings which gives me a great perspective on holistic mothering and beautiful inspiration. The forums on are also an excellent resource that I try to snatch time to read. That helps me to feel that I am not alone with my particular issue and I am connected to all the other mothers out there in the world.

    If you do not have a routine with the babies then get them into one...this will help you and them structure your day. It doesn't always work and I find I have to keep calm when it all falls apart too - like those days when neither of them will sleep, no lunch is prepared, the water get's cut off and I've only had 3 hours sleep! I always remind myself that at the end of the day everything will have all worked out, we will have all eaten, bathed and will sleep and those simple things are a blessing.

    Love you loads keep strong and reach out when you need to - we are far away but you are not alone. onelove xx

  7. hey Nisha...i'm sure every other parent has felt the same way you do at one time or must first understand that achilles is not trying to annoy you he just wants your attention.. he is probably a little jealous of the baby which is to be expected.try having him help you with the baby like getting diapers and helping with the bath that will make him feel like a "BIG BOY"..when the baby is sleeping spend alone time with achilles just you and him doing your own thing...doesn't have to be eleborate throw a blanket over a table climb under and play camp out...but most important when you are to the point of blowing and you feel like you can't take anymore take a step back away from it all and just breath...remember being a mom is the most important job in the world and you have been blessed with two beautiful children.

  8. Over all, I think you are doing a great job as a wife and mother. Even putting this question out on your blog is an example of knowing how to look after yourself and your family before the pressure becomes too great. I think having no extended family or intentional community to help you makes the situation very difficult. You can't be perfect all the time, but really, most of the time you are.
    A simple punishment may sometimes be needed for Achilles, because sometimes a child's attention seeking behaviour is too out of control and needs to be reigned in.
    He will benefit from the punishment as will you. You will be able to put acceptable parameters on his behaviour that will give him the ability to be fun and silly and active and curious but will stop him from ordering you about, screaming, kicking, etc.
    He will learn over the weeks and months to control himself. This self control is called discipline. When he has taught himself discipline, with your guidance, then he will have a powerful tool for his own development.

    He will attract the praise of adults for his self control and cooperativeness. He will overhear people tell you how lucky you are to have such a well-behaved child and this will further enforce his self determination to be well-behaved.
    The punishment should be simple and lovingly and peacefully imposed with obvious regret on your part. You punish him because you love him, not because you are angry.
    He will start to understand that there is a sort of contract between you. Breaching the terms of the contract always yields the same result.
    Initially, he will fight you tooth and nail, not to impose any punishment on him. Your work will be more than it is now at first. But this work will pay off.

  9. I couldnt agree more with Derek and most of the other comments...between the two of you, his intelligence and your determination, it will all come together. You'll see...
    I will continue to pray for you Nish
    God bless

  10. good luck. take care of yourself first and then you'll be able to take care of your kids. I'm not good at this but it sounds like good advice :)