Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Just Thinking

Who ever said moms had to be wonder women.  We can't possible do it all you know!  We just do what we can.  After my last post I thought I was on track to having an amazing week but who was I kidding.

I couldn't be further from the truth.  I still don't understand what some of you are talking about.  How the hell do you have time to cook and clean and change diapers and be all sproozed up for your husbands?  I must have missed the memo completely. 

I tried some of you guys techniques for dealing with the children but everyday seems to be more overwhelming than the previous one.

What do I do now?  Nothing seems to be working.  You guys are probably tired of my rantings and how my life sucks. 

I feel like the worst parent on earth; I really do!  I've just been moping around the house the past few days feeling so angry and hopeless and depressed.

One  minute I'm vibrant and it seems like I'm finally seeing that silver lining and then the next its back to feeling sorry for myself.  If there's a psychologist out there...I need you to check me in!  I really need one. 

I think mostly I need someone to talk to.  It sucks here; having no friends and all.  Most of the other teachers act all weird as if they're so special and they dont want to mingle with someone like me.  They avoid every opportunity to even say hi.

I went to the baby group two weeks ago so the children would see other kids and they could have some meaningful interaction other than me and Derek but it seemed all weird.  I got this really bad vibe like they didn't want me there.  I mostly sat around with the children and played with them.

And I guess my suspicions were right because no one sent me an invite this week to say where the baby group was taking place.

What is up with people? Why do some people think they are so much more inportant than others?
They have flaws just like the rest of us.

Maybe all of you guys will stop readinf my posts after this one...Because I'm starting to annoy your eyeballs out!  But please don't.  I look forward to your encouraging words...They keep me going.

At least these photos make a bit of a difference.  I'm smiling for 5 seconds!


  1. Try to focus on the positive in your life. You need to realize that you are not in Dominica no more, the world is a rough place, you can't expect people to show compassion towards you when your in an area that is hesitant towards blacks.

    This is what we call culture shock, no matter how much you read or what you read to help better you, you won't fix it unless you realize what needs to be done yourself.

    You won't take in advice if you don't acknolegde it. True change and only come with you, and knowning your surrounding and situation.

    It good to let it out. Talk about what is bothering you. Let it out, don't keep it in, just try to realize that other people have it alot worst.

    Being a wife and mother is not easy, your expected to those you love. Your the back bone. If ever things get to the point that you are neglecting your kids I am sure your husband will let you know. So relax, the kids are getting older so things will come easier and you have the support of your husband so lean on him at times.

    Try and go for walks alone.

  2. Food for thought

    Keep working on it...there's no magic answer - just continual development, unfolding and progression. onelove

  3. There can be really bad days... I GET it... One's where you wonder at what point your mind took a walk off Sanity Street and landed on Crazy Street. The great part is that they last only 24 hours and even if you have fifty in a row they are each only 24 hours. So every night at 12am there is a chance to have/make/see a better day than the one before. They WILL come. In the meantime breathe deeply, put in imaginary earplugs and count to 5000. :) Hope you make it through today... I hope I make it through today still smiling, but for now, I NEED my coffee! :)

  4. Thanks for commenting on my blog. I was just wondering this morning if anyone even read it lol! Have you thought about talking to your doctor about how you feel? Getting overwhelmed with kids is very easy, and there is no shame in needing help. I always say kids would prefer a happy mom to a sad one. It's hard to go out and make new friends but yay to you for trying! Don't give up. I can tell you are a really nice person and once people get to know you they will love you :)

  5. Aww, thats so sweet of you Amy. You're really nice too for commenting! Hope we keep checking each others blogs out. Everyone needs the extra push to keep them going

  6. Thank you Nisha for coming by my blog!

    I truely understand what you're feeling... at least with how to cope energy wise... how you get things done AND be mom... I rarely get out of the house, and I go through bouts of sadness and depression too... you do have up days and down days... but you just have to look at those beautiful kids and know that they love you sad or happy. You have to get some alone time... for sure. And keep going to the baby groups and such... if they don't send the invite, ask... make them see you're there to stay and that you are interested. :) I should take my own advice. hah. I never get out to see my friends that have babies the same age as mine... when I should. I think that would help with my own emotional issues. I never have the energy. And for the getting pretty for the husband stuff... rarely happens for me... I live in pajamas... my hair is never done... and I'm still trying to lose the last of my pregnancy weight which is starting to get to me more and more every day.

    You sound like a GREAT mom and a wonderful person. Try not to fret too much. :) Its normal to get stressed out, its normal to have ups and down, so don't feel like you're alone on that. Mothers EVERYWHERE have felt what you're feeling at one point in their parenting life. :)

    I hope you feel better soon. :) Remember to breathe. :) <3 Much love. :)

  7. Hang in there girl :-)

    You have beautiful children!!!

  8. hi, i just discovered your blog and while it's my first time, i just wanted to extend my words of encouragement.... just know that you will get through this, just stay positive and open minded.. you have beautiful kids... and i agree with one of the comments above, let it out, don't keep how you're feeling bottled up inside... that's also the beauty of a blog, let it out with words..we're all here for you..

  9. First of all.. your kids are beautiful!!!

    I don't know you... or even your situation... but this is what I do... i am a single mom to a 14 month old little girl and her father isn't around. I have felt EXACTLY how you do some days. I get so frustrated and wish I had a clone!! I have decided that it's OK if the house isn't immaculate... it's ok if the dishes sit in the sink until my daughter is in bed... it's ok if we both wear pajama's all day. i would rather take my daughter to the park and enjoy the sun shine for a few hours (making us BOTH happy) than make her sit in the house all day so i can yell at her when she gets in my way of mopping. when i die i wont say "oh, i should have kept my house cleaner..." i want to say "i took every available chance to enjoy my life and my children..." don't set too high of expectations for yourself. you're not wonder woman and you don't have to be. being a mom is a full time job. i try to do small tasks here and there. like put away the dishes while she has lunch. wipe up the counters while she is entertained by her movie for 5 minutes. pick up the bathroom while she plays in the tub. and sometimes... i am no expert and i don't claim to be... this is just what works for me...

    good luck mama. in the past 14 months i have learned that being a mom is the HARDEST job on earth!!!

  10. Thank you for sharing Ashley! It's deeply appreciated

  11. It really is the hardest job you will ever have. Just enjoy small pleasures of each day - a quiet moment you get unexpectedly or when your child laughs a real deep laugh over something. Enjoy little moments and don't forget them in the hard times.

    When my son was 3-9, I included him in chores. I made it fun for him and he ended up being somewhat helpful. While I was loading the washer and sorting clothes, he could be sorting the socks from the dryer. Or just unloading from the washer into the basket.
    That's how I got things done. It was just me and him from age three I didn't have to look nice for a husband, but I did have to get myself up and going for my job. It felt like a ton of work some days just to get myself showered and him dressed - but the more responsibility I gave him and the more I tried to include him in things I had to do, it really became more pleasant on a daily basis.

    Good luck! It does get easier as they get older!!!

  12. Hi Nisha - Thanks for coming by my blog. Your kiddos are so gorgeous!! For that reason alone, you are a wonder(ful) - woman!! Hold onto their sweet little hands when you are feeling "out of it", and remember that they are the reason that we (as moms) keep going, day after day, step after step. Sending you hope, Heather

  13. Thanks Kaylen and Heather. So much encouragement! Couldn't ask for more wonderful people. I'm really trying to take it step by step.

  14. Hang in there. I am new to your blog, but I assume that you are home with your kids? Being home with small children can be difficult and isolating. Keep trying new things. You never know where you might meet people to socialize with. I met one of my dearest friends at a playground when our kids were never know what the day will bring

  15. Yes I am home wit the kids. I'll do as much as I can. Thanks for sharing!